Questions About Family History

Questions to ask about
your family history

Family history is more than dates and names in a family tree. It's the stories behind them — where your family came from, what they lived through, and how they got to where they are now. These questions help you uncover it.

Why family history matters

More than names on a family tree

Genealogy can tell you that your great-grandmother was born in County Mayo in 1889. What it can't tell you is what she was like, what she believed, why she came to England, or what she hoped for her children. That's family history — the story behind the data.

Research consistently shows that children who know their family history — who have a sense of where they came from and what their family has been through — have stronger self-esteem, greater resilience, and a clearer sense of identity. The stories aren't just interesting. They're formative.

But family history disappears with the people who carry it. Every generation that passes takes its stories with it unless someone thought to ask. The questions below are designed to draw those stories out — from living relatives who still remember, before the window closes.

The questions

Questions about family history to ask your relatives

Ask these of the oldest living relatives you have access to. Start with whichever feels most natural — you don't need to work through them in order.

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Where your family came from

Where did your parents and grandparents come from originally?
Why did they settle where they did?
Did any family members emigrate or move significant distances?
What do you know about your family's country or region of origin?
Were there ever any family members who went abroad and didn't come back?
What language did your grandparents speak?
Do you know anything about your family's history before your grandparents' generation?
Were there any family members who came from very different backgrounds?
Has anyone in the family ever traced the family tree?
Is there family history that has been deliberately kept quiet?
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How your family lived

What did your grandparents do for work?
What was their home like?
Were they wealthy, poor, or somewhere in between?
What did they eat? Were there family recipes passed down?
How did they spend their leisure time?
What were the family traditions when you were growing up?
What were the roles of men and women in your family?
How did the family handle disagreements or difficult times?
Were there any family feuds or estrangements?
Who was the family matriarch or patriarch?
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What your family lived through

Did any family members serve in the World Wars?
What did the family live through during wartime?
Were there any family members who were affected by major historical events?
How did rationing affect the family?
Were there any family members who lived through particular hardship?
How did the family cope with the Depression or economic hardship?
Were there any family members who experienced discrimination or prejudice?
How did major events — the NHS, the Welfare State, the internet — change family life?
Is there a period in family history that was particularly difficult?
Is there a family story of survival or resilience that stands out?
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Family relationships and characters

Who was the character of the family — the one everyone tells stories about?
What was the family dynamic like between your parents and grandparents?
Were there relatives who didn't get along? What happened?
Who do you most take after, and in what way?
Were there family secrets that only came out later?
Who was the family's storyteller — the one who always had a tale to tell?
Were there any remarkable friendships or love stories in the family?
Who in the family had the biggest influence on you?
Are there family members you never met but wish you had?
What do you know about relatives who died before you were born?
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Values and beliefs passed down

What religion or faith, if any, was central to family life?
What political views did the family tend to hold?
What values were most important in the family you grew up in?
What were you taught about money, work, and success?
What were you taught about how to treat other people?
Were there family sayings or mottos that got repeated?
What did your parents want for you that their parents hadn't had?
What do you think you absorbed from your family that you weren't aware of?
What family values do you hope will be passed on to the next generation?
What, if anything, do you want to leave behind that's different from what you inherited?
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Family objects and places

Are there objects in the family that have been passed down?
Is there furniture, jewellery, or other items with family significance?
Are there family photographs that nobody has identified?
Is there a family home or place that holds particular significance?
Are there documents — letters, diaries, certificates — that have survived?
Is there a grave or memorial that nobody visits any more?
Are there objects that you'd want specific people to have?
Are there places connected to the family that have changed or disappeared?
Is there a family recipe, song, or tradition that hasn't been written down?
What would you most want to preserve for future generations?

Going further

How to research your family history beyond conversations

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Ancestry and FindMyPast

The two largest genealogy databases, both with strong UK records. Ancestry (ancestry.co.uk) and FindMyPast (findmypast.co.uk) give access to census records, birth, marriage and death certificates, military records, and immigration records going back centuries.

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The British Library and county archives

Local county archives hold records not available online — parish registers, local newspapers, estate records, and more. The British Library also has extensive collections. A visit can surface things digital databases miss.

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The Imperial War Museum

The IWM holds records of service personnel from both World Wars and beyond. Their Lives of the First World War database is particularly comprehensive. If family members served, this is the place to start.

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GRO certificates

The General Register Office holds UK birth, marriage, and death certificates from 1837 onwards. You can order certificates online at gro.gov.uk. These often contain more information than you expect — parents' occupations, addresses, witnesses.

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DNA testing

Services like AncestryDNA and 23andMe can reveal ethnic heritage, find previously unknown relatives, and confirm or complicate family stories. Useful alongside documentary research rather than as a replacement for it.

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Talking to living relatives

The most important and most overlooked source of family history. Census records can tell you where someone lived. Only a living relative can tell you what they were like. Ask before it's too late.

Preserve what you find

Turn family history into a keepsake book

Tell Me Your Story turns your family history conversations into a beautifully printed keepsake book — 100+ guided questions, voice recordings, photos, and a professionally printed book. Free to start, no card needed.

Free to start · No subscription · Printed book from £21.99

FAQ

Common questions

What questions should I ask about family history?

Start with where the family came from, what your grandparents did for work, what major historical events they lived through, and the characters of the family. Then move into values, traditions, family objects, and what people want to be remembered. The questions that produce the best stories are usually the most specific ones.

How do I research my family history?

Start with conversations with living relatives — they're the most important source and the most time-limited. Alongside that, Ancestry and FindMyPast hold most UK genealogical records online. County archives, the British Library, and the Imperial War Museum hold records not available digitally. DNA testing can also reveal heritage and connect you with previously unknown relatives.

How do I preserve family history?

Conversations should be recorded — even a phone voice memo is valuable. Documents and photographs should be digitised and backed up in multiple places. A printed family history book is the most permanent format — Tell Me Your Story turns family history conversations into a beautifully printed keepsake.

What is the difference between genealogy and family history?

Genealogy is the study of family ancestry — building a family tree from birth, marriage, and death records. Family history goes further, capturing the stories, experiences, and personalities behind the names and dates. Both are valuable, but family history is what makes genealogy come alive.

Who should I ask about family history?

The oldest living relatives you have access to. Grandparents and great-aunts and uncles often hold knowledge that no younger person has. Start with whoever is oldest and work outwards. Don't assume family members you see less often don't have stories worth hearing.

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A printable PDF of 50 questions to ask your parents or grandparents about their life. Use it over Sunday lunch, or keep it for when the moment's right.

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