Writing an Obituary
How to write an obituary
that actually sounds like them
A simple, step-by-step guide to writing a meaningful obituary — and an easier way to do it, if you've already started capturing their story.
Where to start
An obituary tells the story of a life — that's it
An obituary doesn't need to be formal or impersonal. At its simplest, it's a short account of who someone was — their background, what they did, who they loved, and what made them, them. There's no legal requirement to have one, but it gives family, friends, and the wider community a way to learn about the death and remember the person properly.
The hardest part is usually starting. Staring at a blank page and trying to sum up an entire life in a few paragraphs, often while grieving, is genuinely difficult — which is exactly why having even a rough set of answers about someone's life already written down makes the whole process far easier.
Step by step
How to write it
Gather the basic facts
Full name (including any well-known nickname), date of birth, date and place of death, and where they lived. These anchor the obituary and help people confirm who it's about.
List the people closest to them
Spouse or partner, children, grandchildren, siblings — and if you wish, those who predeceased them. There's no obligation to list everyone, just whoever feels right to include.
Write a short, warm account of their life
Career, education, hobbies, achievements, and the things they cared about. This is the heart of the obituary — focus on what made them who they were, not just a list of dates.
Add a personal detail or two
A favourite saying, a habit everyone knew them for, the thing they always talked about. Small, specific details are often what people remember most.
Include funeral or service details, if relevant
Date, time, location, and whether flowers or donations are preferred. Always check with the family before including sensitive details like cause of death.
Decide where to publish it
A local or national newspaper, an online memorial platform, or simply shared with family and friends directly. Newspapers often charge by the word, so word count may shape how much detail you include.
What to include
The pieces that make up a good obituary
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The basics
Full name, age, date of death, and where they lived.
👨👩👧
Family
Spouse, children, grandchildren, siblings — survived by and, if you wish, predeceased by.
💼
Life and work
Career, education, military service, community involvement.
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Personality and passions
Hobbies, what they loved, what they were known for.
🕊️
Service details
Date, time, and location of the funeral or memorial, if you want this included.
🌷
Flowers or donations
Whether the family prefers flowers, or donations to a charity that mattered to them.
If you've already started
You may have already written most of it
If you or your loved one used Tell Me Your Story to capture their life — childhood, career, family, the moments that mattered — that's almost everything an obituary needs, already in their own words. Their answers to questions about their work, their relationships, and their proudest moments can be lifted almost directly into an obituary, rather than written from scratch under pressure.
Already have their story captured?
Go back through their answers about career, family, and proudest moments — much of an obituary is already there, in their own voice.
Starting from nothing?
Tell Me Your Story's guided questions can help you gather the details you need, even after someone has passed, by talking to family who knew them well.
Beyond the written word
Some tributes are better told in pictures and music
An obituary works well in print and online, but for a service, a wake, or sharing with family further afield, a tribute video can say things words alone can't. Upload photos and video clips, add music, and create something to play at the service or share with those who couldn't be there.
Create a tribute video →Free to preview · £19.99 to download
FAQ
Common questions
What is the difference between an obituary and a death notice?
A death notice is short and factual — name, date of death, and funeral details. An obituary is longer and more personal, telling the story of someone's life, their background, achievements, and character.
How long should an obituary be?
It depends where it's published. Newspapers often charge by the word and have space limits, so a few short paragraphs is typical. Online memorial platforms usually allow much more length if you want to include more detail.
Do I need to include the cause of death?
No, there's no obligation to. If you do choose to include it, it's worth checking with close family first, as not everyone is comfortable sharing this publicly.
Can I use someone's own words in their obituary?
Yes, and it often makes for the most meaningful obituaries. If they shared stories about their life, career, or family beforehand — through a project like Tell Me Your Story, a letter, or a recorded conversation — quoting or drawing on their own words can make the obituary feel genuinely like them.